My partner accepted me back, and I am more grateful than anyone could imagine. I really do love him, and want to spend the rest of my life with him. However, for the past 9 months, we've been arguing continually over my past infidelities, and its making me wonder if hes questioning out relationship.
I have changed, not just as a cheater, but as a person. I would never dream of cheating on him, ever. I know people say cheater never change, but you wouldn't understand unless you've cheated personally, understood the pain and sickening regret you feel when you realize you've gambled away your whole relationship, and had the understanding and motive to change yourself as a person. You can change if you really want to! I know this, because I have.
However, how do I convince my partner of this? I fully understand that trust takes years to build, but do you think its possible for trust to be re-built, ever? I know its takes hard work and willingness from both for the relationship to rebuild, but will the trust ever come back?Cheaters can change, but can the trust ever be re-built?
the trust will definitely take some work to gain back, and you have to be patient. on the other hand, if the two of you are constantly arguing about your past mistakes, it's not going to work. he has to decide to move on from the incident and focus on the present and future with you. if he can't move on, the relationship just wont work. i understand that what you did hurt him greatly, and its clear that you see that as well. it will take time, but it's already been nine months. that's close to a year. i don't want to put a time limit on how long it takes to move on from something like that, but given the dedication you have for him now, it seems like he should be starting to bounce back and move forward. he can't let the past take over his future with you. you can suggest counseling...couples counseling, since you take full responsibility it won' t be a problem for you, and the counselor could give him good coping mechanisms for when he's thinking about the past.
it's good that you realize what you did was wrong, and i understand that you love him and want to make it work, but the bottom line is if you've taken full responsibility and have done everything in your power to regain your trust from him and he can't let it go, it won't work. yes you made a mistake, but you don't deserve to live with it for the rest of your life.Cheaters can change, but can the trust ever be re-built?
No, and you are better off starting fresh with someone else. No matter what you do it will always be there.
its true what your sayin but anybdy that gets cheatd on will not put anythng beside anymore lik think about if it wuz u who got cheatd on would u b eazy about it
hes never going to forgive you and it will be bought up at every argument[sorry]
Once a cheating, always a cheater. What makes you think you have changed so much? If you did it twice what makes you think you wont do it again. I have been cheated on and even have been cheated on with my current boyfriend. Am I completly over it? No im not and I may never be. I will never be completly over it because once someone does that to you, your trust goes out the door and you have to gain it back. He may never fully trust you and he may never get over it. All you can do is tell him you wont do it again but if you cheated on him, do you really love him? No, because if you really loved him you would have not cheated on him so just think about that befroe you go to cheat again on him or maybe another boyfriend. It was wrong of you and he may never get over it or gain that trust back and you cant get mad because you only put it on yourself. I hate to be blunt about it but thats just how I feel. If you are gonna cheat on someone dont be with them, tell them its not working out. I mean you did this twice. After cheating on him the first time wouldnt this have made you stronger to not cheat. Just think about all this!!
f you were in his situation, think how you would feel.
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