How do you find happiness?

How do you find happiness and like the way you look and they way you are inside(even after trying to change yourself. ex, shy to outgoing didn't work out so you're back to quiet and of course- invisible)?How do you find happiness?
What a great question that so many people are asking. It seems as though you do no like youself. Either you have to accept you as you are or you need to make some changes. I found this answer very helpful, it is from Rick, a yahoo answers member, who changed himself.





Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Hi Mindy,

When I was in high school I was at the bottom of the school's pecking order. People bullied me; I was shy and miserable. I realized that I was acting like a victim and so people victimized me. I decided to change my personality.



It was the hardest thing I ever did.



Some bits of advice:

-- Go to some classes on how to communicate more effectively. A lot of things are easier if you can communicate well.

-- When you do something that does not work, think about how to do better and force yourself to do things differently next time. When trying to change your personality, habits are your enemy.

-- Try to find just one or two people who you like and are willing to help you. If you get some kind people to reinforce your successful behavior and give some kind advice when you mess up it is a big help.

-- Are their people in your life that reinforce your unsuccessful behaviour? If you identify people who are holding you back AVOID THEM!!! This is very important. A lot of your behaviour is triggered by the behavior of others, if some idiot is making it hard for you to change, DO NOT spend time with them!!!

-- Spend time in different places. Do different things. This forces you out of old habits which is important when you are trying to change yourself.

-- Try to find a way to socialize where you are successful. With me, I was good with games. (Try www.boardgamegeek.com for lots of really great games like ';Settlers of Catan';, ';Ticket to Ride'; and the like.) But my point is be socially successful in a couple areas and get practice being with people.

-- Accomplish things! Maybe put your social life on hold for a bit and do something significant. The best way to improve your self esteem is to accomplish something important and difficult. Doing so will likely give you interesting experiences which make you more fun to be with as well as raising your self confidence.

-- Volunteer to help people. Could you be a Big Sister to a little girl without a mom?

-- Don't wait for people to entertain you. Force yourself to be outgoing enough to invite others to a movie, over to your house to play some games and have a drink, invite a friend with an interest in Astronomy to the local planetarium, etc. A guy I knew was always complaining that he never met girls, but all he did was sit around watching TV! He wouldn't meet a girl if one crawled down his chimney with a little black box of toys. You've got to make an effort to meet people.

-- My wife didn't have a lot of friends in my city. We bumped into a nice couple that sold her a corset. So I invited them to play some games and now we see them ~1 a month for a get together. Most people are happy that you show enough interest in them to want to spend time with them.

-- Exercise is good for fighting depression. And you might meet someone nice in the gym.

-- Think about what causes you to act like a jerk. Think about a middle ground where you are not super quiet but not jerk like. Any rules of thumb you might think of that will remind you when you're going too far?

-- Don't buy in to any quick fix schemes. No new cult (e.g. scientology) is going to make you instantly happy. Building social and personal skills is a lot of work but worth it.



Good luck! Changing my personality took at least 5 years but I did it and I'm very happy now. Don't give up if you back slide a bit, remember habits are an enemy. Keep trying, celebrate small successes and eventually you will have better habits. Hopefully you will be a lot happier in the future.



Warm regards, Rick.





I hope this helps!How do you find happiness?
Buy a book entitled ';How to become a radical'; and let everyone notice it!0!



Good luck!
i smoke marijuana. it gives me wisdom.
when the apple tree is full of evils the tree will fall teach children where anger come from it's won't be no open war.tree won't fail....serve the power father!...
just say you love yourself over and over again, and try to idealize being quiet. stay away from loud people and try to only enjoy the other quiet ones.
Happiness from my experience comes from within. The problem lies when you look for it externally - in friends, family, sports, husband, girlfriend, house, car etc. Everything external in time will dissappoint you because its not permanent. You meet a wonderful person and you fall in love and then get married. Slowly, the honeymoon is over and reality kicks in again. Then you start looking for happiness in kids and that also fades over time. Then you look to your friends and try and find happiness there and they also disappoint. You get all sad because your hair turns grey and you are getting old. All is temporary. Strive to find that real fountain of peace and bliss within you and you will be happy forever. Reduce your desires and maintain harmony within - thought, word and deed must be in alignment. Put the highest value on your peace of mind - dont associate with anyone or anything that reduces it. When you value peace and happiness, they will value you.