Why do girls tell nice guys not to change?

A friend of mine that I really like was complaining about how she can't get a guy, and guys don't think she's pretty, or they just use her, etc. I told her I was there for her if she wanted a nice guy, but I know she doesn't like me and I acknowledged that nice guys typically aren't what girls are looking for. Later I asked her why that is and got the usual answers, they like the challenge, want to change them, etc. So I asked her if that meant that I should be like that and right away she says ';NOOOOO you're nice, don't change yourself.'; I don't get it though. Every girl that tells me I'm nice like it's a good thing would never date me, but then they tell me not to change. Why do they say that? Do they not want me to be happy or something? I'm not good enough for them the way I am, but they tell me not to change. Why? And not to be conceited, but I'm not ugly or anything if you thought that had something to do with it. I'm in college if that helpsWhy do girls tell nice guys not to change?
They tell you not to change because it's not you. You can't just act a certain way and be true to yourself - and you certainly shouldn't be like that in relationships or when trying to get a girl.


Also, I think girls tend to assume that there must be a girl out there who will appreciate a nice guy - and I suppose there are. Just not many. It tends to be the really quiet/unconfident girls who go well with nice guys.


Girls you know will also appreciate your qualities - I guess you are the aim, the way they want to 'change' bad boys. You'd probably be marriage material, while they may see 'bad boys' as a bit of fun.


You can't just change because you feel like it. Just be happy and comfortable with who you are - there are people that would be suited to your personality, you just haven't found them yet. You're also young, and as they say ';Nice guys finish last';. Women get sick of bastards after a while.Why do girls tell nice guys not to change?
Peh.


You're worth more than them anyway.


Find someone worth your time(:


x
I think girls who dont like nice guys are stupid because you'll see at the end they'll come running to you, and just for the record i'd date ya ;) lol





please answer mine: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
Cos麓we love nice guys!
Not that they don't want *you* to be happy, they just don't want to lose you as someone who definitely will be there for them to complain to. I could rant on for a while about this, but it'll all revolve around that point.
they dont want you to change because they like you as you are. dont change yourself for a girl. find ones that like you for you and arent focused on a finding a guy they can change
Idk why she todl you that, I have a bestfriend who is in love with me but i wont go there with him becuase im not attracted to him. Hes a very nice guy, but its just not there for me. Even when im lonely and cant get a guy, I just dont feel that way for him. I think she feels the same. Shes not into you and dont want to let you know that. My advise is to just be happy she is in your life regardless of what way that is. Maybe one day she will coem around, maybe not. You shouldnt change. I think your just fine and it has nothing to do with you but with her. I think you should just be her friend and someoen will come around and sweep her off her feet. And you will find someone too.
i like nice guys better because i got my heart broken by a guy who i thought was nice.so please don't change!!!!!!!!!!
Sigh. I totally get what you're saying and know quite a few ';nice guys'; myself. Most of them are okay now in terms of relationships, but college was tough from the social perspective. Hmm.





It's not so much that ';nice guys finish last'; but that people don't go looking for the knight in shining armor till they've fallen prey to some type of danger or misfortune. So in a way it's more like ';saving the best for last'; -- which is frustrating for the average nice guy.





The alternative is NOT to end up with the girl. To be a villainous wretch from the getgo and see what happens.





Hmm. That's a little extreme. Try this:





(1) Figure out what your KEY personality traits are. What makes you tick? What makes you...YOU? Make a list.





(2) Try to shake off the ';SAPPY'; Nice Guy qualities. You can be sensitive, but not hanging on the girl's every word waiting for her to notice you. You can offer to help, but don't make yourself available to the girl ALL the time. (I'm not advocating the ';hard to get'; tactic, but get a life of your own, apart from your female friends.)





(3) If you have too many female friends, take a hiatus and go do something on your own. When you come back, you'll have a few interesting stories to tell, perhaps a bit more bounce in your step, confidence, that sort of thing. It doesn't take much for a girl to notice a guy, but confidence, a good smile, and a few cool stories are pretty much the staples.





Basically, if you're the nice guy who's always around, the girl's going to notice you as much as she does the wallpaper or paint in her house. Shake things up a little by getting some distance, getting yourself ';out there'; by taking on a new hobby, going on a trip, etc., then come back looking all fresh and confident in her eyes.





Not to suggest any drastic changes or anything, but a haircut or minor make-over might also help boost your confidence AND get her to notice a change. Girls usually notice that sort of thing.