How do you change fundamental flaws in your self?

I've made many mistakes but I have done some good things too. I believe I could achieve so much more personally and for society if I could change some fundamental flaws I have. For instance:



1. addictive personality

2. dwelling on past and anger (dad had an affair and left us, mom married an ex-convict, sexually abused, etc.....)

3. feeling lonely

4. lack of motivation i.e. - even to read a book, which I love to do.



Has anyone really overcome major personality flaws and changed yourself? How did you do it?



I know I can change. I quit smoking 10 years ago and that was a terrific achievement. How did I do that? Well, it was a different health scare that never panned out. I was trying to get healthy.



I would love to hear your thoughts!How do you change fundamental flaws in your self?
People do change, but it is usually a slow process.

I recommend working on one quality at a time for a year or more.

Let go of the past, it's not going to help you change.

Awareness of the characteristic you want to change is the first step.

Then you have to concentrate on ';catching'; yourself doing it and changing it in the moment.

You might find someone with the quality you want and sort of study how they act. For instance, if you're selfish, find a generous person to hang out with and begin to act like them.

These are just random thoughts that have worked for me, it's no magic formula that I guarantee will work for you.