Why do girls tell nice guys not to change?

A friend of mine that I really like was complaining about how she can't get a guy, and guys don't think she's pretty, or they just use her, etc. I told her I was there for her if she wanted a nice guy, but I know she doesn't like me and I acknowledged that nice guys typically aren't what girls are looking for. Later I asked her why that is and got the usual answers, they like the challenge, want to change them, etc. So I asked her if that meant that I should be like that and right away she says ';NOOOOO you're nice, don't change yourself.'; I don't get it though. Every girl that tells me I'm nice like it's a good thing would never date me, but then they tell me not to change. Why do they say that? Do they not want me to be happy or something? I'm not good enough for them the way I am, but they tell me not to change. Why? And not to be conceited, but I'm not ugly or anything if you thought that had something to do with it.Why do girls tell nice guys not to change?
Sorry to drop a truth bomb on ya dude, but nice guys hardly EVER get the girl. This isn't an absolute, but it's pretty frikkin' close, I'll tell ya.





It's the infamous 'Friend Zone' at work, of course. Once a girl identifies you as someone upon whom she can rely, she then wants you to stay like that so that she can confide in you during the next emotional rollercoaster. So now that she's accepted you, you should be in, right?





Congratulations, you are now stuck in the Friend Zone. In this luxurious zone you get the privilege of listening to all her hopes and fears and being her constant friend and confidant, not to mention getting to see all the users and abusers who zip right into her Lover Zone without even passing through the Friend Zone.





See, the way I've got it worked out, the average woman has two spaces in her head: the Friend Zone and the Lover Zone, and never the twain shall meet. The reasoning, however flawed, is that, if she makes you a lover, she'll have then permanently lost a friend, and then will have no-one in whom she can confide.





Never mind of course that you could be her friend AND lover, noooo. Somehow, this part of the woman's mind is like a bizarre Venn diagram in which the sets have no compatible subsets, i.e. it's impossible in a woman's mind for you to be her romantic partner AND provide her emotional support simultaneously (generally speaking).





As you can probably tell from my tone, I have been sucked past the Friend Zone's event horizon on many occasions. I don't mean to sound cynical, and I know for a fact that there are a few women out there who will accept both romance and emotional support from the same person, but there aren't many of them, which I think sucks. Big time. It's almost as if they're saying that men SHOULDN'T be emotionally supportive in a romantic relationship - that they're just around to use the girl so that she can go back crying to her confidants in the Friend Zone.





But that's just me.Why do girls tell nice guys not to change?
Only immature girls think they can change the guys they date. You need to raise your standards and start expanding your social circle. Quality women want nice guys. Don't change, it will work out for you in the end.
they say that because they know that they are messed up and that there are girls out there more deserving of a nice guy then they are and they want you to find a good one.
Well you have the:


A) You in fact, ARE ugly,


B) People think you're gay,


o


C) They just haven't matured yet to see the best guys for who they really are.
What you NEED to do is to change.... Not a huge amount... Don't be mean, just don't give out your niceness... Don't try and be kind to people, just try to a dick... but not too much of a dick. You want to get them interested but you don't want them to hate you
Girls really dont know what they want. their emotional creatures. you act too nice to them they'll run over you and treat you like crap if you act standoffish to them they'll be all over you and smother you like hell.
I dont get it either, if it helps i go for nice guys :)


Just be yourself, and one special someone will notice you
They don't want you to change because your keeping there seat warm in the friend zone, find chicks that you actually have a chance with.
Women want most men to be nice, like their friend or brother, but they want the man they have sex with to be a ';bad boy.'; Your choice, do you want to be the nice platonic friend or the guy who actually gets the girl?:
theres enough crappy guys out there ok dont be mean!!!!stay nice!!!! trust me us girls like nice guys we like guys who have that mysterious thing about them and they treat everyother girl like whateva EXCEPT!!! that one girl that he REALLY likes and he only hugs her and wants her and you know he like a bad boy but with limits
Because some guys go changing themselves because ther think that the girls will like it and then girls lose interest in them because they're not the same. Guys don't understand that when a girl likes them, it's because it's THEM! So it's just stupid to go change themselves for the girls...
To tell you the truth you shouldn't change who you are for anyone. If Your nice a girl will come along that will like you.
Like your friend said us girls like a challenge we like to get our way. But to be honest i don't get why she won't date you cause trying to change a guy to the good boyfriend most of the time ends up badly like it did for me i'm going to tell you like i told my friend the perfect girl will come into your life just give it time. It'll happen. And when it does she'll like you for you never change who you are just to make someone else happy cause they won't like you for you they will like you for what you've became.
They like the drama and 'excitement'. They want something from the players that is unattainable, and maybe to move around for a change of scenery themselves. You won't give that to them or tolerate it, and that's a good thing. Soon enough all of those girls who said you were nice and told you not to change will be looking for a stable guy like you who will love them. Right now you may envy those guys, but give it another few years, and I mean a few, and they'll be envying you.
maybe cuz she says you as a friend %26amp; loves the wayy you are:)


she wouldnt want you to change into a jerk:D


i kno i wouldnt;)











mineee plssss??


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I think there are some girls for you out there. It depends how old are you. For example, if u are a teen (like me) then most teenage girls go for the bad boys because we arent as mature. They want the thrill. But I think when you are an adult, ladies start looking at a nice man differently (unless they are immature...) . Women like nice men. So dont look at this as a bad thing because it will pay off soon in the future. so dont change. :) Get what I mean? Hope I helped.
Yeah, well they are right. Guys that are mean get girls....but they dont always last with them if the girl knows best. But for nice guys, for some odd reason, it takes longer for a guy to get a girl. But in the long run, you get the girl of your dreams. If you dont get girls all the time....then you know when to keep a girl and you get a ';real'; girl.. For guys who have girlfriends all the time and always different ones(they tend to be the bad boys) then they are very picky and never get the right girl or will never have the right girl...because they ';think'; they can always do bettter.
Only bad girls liek bad boys. They like the challenge, meaning dating is a game for them. Personally, I like nice guys. If I see a 'bad' or a dangerous guy, I just walk away. I do not want to have anythign to do with them.





If you are a nice guy and you ask me on a date, I would say yes. And then if I do not like you like that after I get to know you, I will just say something to make the relationship purely platonic.





Basically, good girls like good guys. The guys and girls who date really early are nto very good to date...





At college you might have better luck. But...


Do NOT change!!
Kindness is so under appreciated. People just don't understand that kindness and honesty are probably the most important things your partner can have, until it's too late to go back.


I think she said that because she really likes you, but as a friend only. She probably has a low self esteem and to some degree doesn't feel like she deserves somebody who is really nice and good to her. I know, because I have been there :)


I'm sure you will find someone who does appreciate you being a nice guy. It might take a big of time, but when you get there it will be worth it.
I don't think girls want something like that on their conscience, no matter how unlikely it is to actually pull off. Girls have a lot of self-doubt and insecurity about their own feelings and don't want that tearing down the good things/people out there in life eventually waiting for them. I doubt it's intentional, and there you have your dilemma.





Some guys find it helpful to adopt a callous veneer of confidence through high school - give it some thought. What's underneath doesn't need to change.