How do you separate how you are and feel from how you wish you could be? any books about it?

are you suppose to divide the two? since for the most part its not completely impossible to change yourself...i think..is it? can you actually change the way you think?

ssiiigh

all this confusion is exhausting



also can you recommend some books to read on this subject.

im going to put this question in that section also...i hope someone can helpHow do you separate how you are and feel from how you wish you could be? any books about it?
i believe the human being is so complex you can change anything about it. changing the way you think basically lies in destroying your paradigms; there are excercises which help you, depending on which paradigm you want to destroy or overcome.

however, there is an essential part of you that is unchangeable, your past, and that will always be with you; you cannot change the past, you cannot change who you are now; since who you are know and who you have been are unchangeable, who you will be will always have these two yous with him. very confusing, but logical.



i'd read ';the unbearable lightness of being'; by milan kundera, it talks about change, and how people have an idea of themselves, and this doesn't always reconcile with who they actually are. plus it's very entertaining; deep yet light, which is another theme exposed, lightness and weight...How do you separate how you are and feel from how you wish you could be? any books about it?
Actually, there are many things and ways to change the way you feel.



Infact, you're in luck!!!



There is a book called The Magic of Thinking Big By: David J. Schwartz.



He talks about how to grow your self confidence and how to get people to look at you as of importance and respectable.



He talks a bit obout the subconsiouce mind and how you can increase your confidence.



1. Action curse fear: isolate your fear and then take constructive action

fear distroys confidence

2. Put only positive thoughts in your memory bank

3. Put people in proper perspective

People are more allike then they are different

4. Practice doing what your conscience tells you is right

5. Make everything about you say, ';I'm confident, really confident';

5 steps to help you get there:

1. Be a ';front seater.';

2. make eye contact

3. Walk 25% faster (explained in book)

4. Speak up

5. Smile big

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