Best way to change yourself...10 pts?

I want your opinion on how to change myself...for one i want too be able to not care so much about what people think of me, i know that soubds stupid but it is hard for me to not care...i always tell myself not to care but when i get around people i just do...i seem to do alot of things for attention and i want to stop feeling the need for the attention...there are other things i know that i dont like about myself but i just cant see them because ive been doing thewm for so long...its crippiling my in keeping any kind of friends and relationships with people...thanks and 10 points to best answerBest way to change yourself...10 pts?
Jack, you cant win them all !





But with the friends you really care about, you should ask them your question......And listen to there answer as if it is really important......that will make them feel better about you and as if you really care.





When someone offers an opinion, don't argue with ';their'; opinion, BUT be sure to acknowledge their opinion by saying ';Yes, I got that;'; or ';Well, that is interesting'; or ';I know sometimes I say/do stupid stuff; or ';I understand your opinion and agree 'somewhat.';


What ever you do ';Let them know you understood them, and their opinion is really important.';


Then ask ';What should I had ';said or done.'; No matter what the answer.....don't ever confront their ';Opinion'; with a argument.


When people reply they will say one of 3 things. 1. A statement. 2. A story (relative) 3. A fact.





Inside the statement, story, or fact. If the statement is a question....stay only within the bounds of that ';question.';





A REAL BAD THING is to go to another question, before the last one is resolved....(this is when women change questions when they don't like your answer.) Stay within the first question, until it is agreed that, the question is properly answered or dismissed.





This will give the control of the conversation to who you are speaking with......and let them know you care and think their opinion is important.


Salesmen have this to a art. Always make sure not to get caught on the wrong side of a question...this is when you make enemies. So be deplomatic....not argumentative.





Unconsciously, you may be intimidating other and you have not noticed that. Bets are good you are probably doing that because they ';put'; you off rather than answer a question that may be a little above their head, and think you are making a fool of them secretly. Don't put that aspect off, you may be surprised. Let others talk about what ever they think is important....even it seems stupid to you.





You are obviously a really sharp guy or you would not have asked the question that I am answering. This is not a question from a frivolous person. The people who you deal with are important to you, and you do not understand the rejection. The rejection you really deserve, because you have not communicated to that person.....that THEY are important.


If the other person leaves your conversation, and rejects your feelings.......It will be them writing this question next on Yahoo-7.


Being with a person has a beginning, middle, and end to each experieance.....so always leave the ';end'; on a up beat note....never part angry ';guys OK, but girls will make you pay.';





So last of all if someone pokes fun at you....take it for what it is worth ....just fun. With guys that can get out of hand, but its still.......just in fun. If they did not like you, they would not even talk to you. So roll with the punches (especially parents).





You really get the most attention, by acting not to want any.


Especially with girls, some take longer to notice, but always be there for them, encourage them and complement them on their hair, clothes, and looks. They spend an amazing amount of time dressing.....and a great effort should always be acknowledged.. but, most of all be HONEST about your comment. You may be asked to defend it!





So learn to ';slip the bullet'; when someone fires off at you. It takes two to argue....let them find someone else.....!


If they make a honest comment, just agree with them and it will disappear into space for ever.....if you fight it, surely that argument will be around for 20 years and will ruin friendships.





Out smart them.....and don't get in a position for a argument....unless its a very important position and there safety is at stake....otherwise ';slip the bullet.';





Rejection is a powerful tool, as you may not have noticed.


So be careful or deliberate before you engage in that part of a conversation.......everybody is important, and don't make them feel any less than that.


When you get cross ways with somebody, its probably their doing.....for their own personal reasons. Just don't play and ruin your day.....some folks walk out of the house looking for some one to jump on....to make themselves feel better.


That is probably 1/2 your problem......don't let them transfer, their bad feelings to you to drag around all day.





I would just bet money your way, way smarter then that...!





Chill out, and keep a confident ';kicked back attitude.';


No matter what is said.....that is what makes ';cool'; guys; Cool.





Ok....so you need to watch 10 shows of ';Happy Days'; and watch how ';they'; handle conversations. That is what made the ';Fonzie'; .......';The Fonze.';


Your going to have to ';lighten up'; ....and remember when if you Win all the arguments.....you won't have any friends, to argue with.


So......best advice ';you shouldn't win them all'; even if you feel they are wrong.......just pass on the cheap stuff.





Your question is interesting, but millions of guys could have ask it......what is the difference? Experience in your relationships......The more experience you have the easier it gets.....


That is why some guys are as slick ';AS ZORRO'S HATBAND';...and just breeze through these things.......!





lots of luck


(Houston)Best way to change yourself...10 pts?
Well, you said the best way, you didn't give limitations. So the best way I changed myself, was traveled the world. I gave up my job and traveled for a year, backpacking through Europe, Asia and Africa. It was the best experience I ever did. And think everyone should do it. I really learned a lot about myself. And I came back the best me I could be.
you need to convince yourself that it doesnt matter, and kno that u are the way u are because thats the way u chose to be lol.





meditation and yoga can help you a little with being comfortable around ppl and feeling better about urself.
There is a technique called PrathiPaksha Bhavana.


For sometime do the opposite of what you want to change.
Behave the way you want to be in front of people. After about a week or a lot of the times less you'll start to identify with it as you.
regarding to you not caring as much as what people think about you, here is what i responded with to a similar question:





adolescents experience what you are experiencing. look up concepts such as the personal fable, or the imaginary audience (in psychology). This is an example of the imaginary audience, suppose you wake up one morning and see a pimple on your nose, so you dread going outside because you feel as though there's a huge flashing sign above your head that says ';huge pimple over here!'; you gotta realize that people generally do not pay attention to things like that.





ask yourself, how often do you look at people when you walk down the street? Do you notice trivial things such as a pimple or a wrinkled shirt? did you tell your friend on the phone last night how you saw some girl who's shoes didn't match her outfit? Most likely not, right? why would people do that about you, are you really an exception? realizing that you are not is the key to your dilemma.





good luck!





* 1 day ago





Source(s):


any adolescent or developtmental psychology book








lastly, whenever you feel worried about what people may be thinking about you, ask yourself this:





Will it matter one year from now? most likely your answer will be no, so dont sweat the small stuff