How can you make yourself change for the better if you dont have the desire to change?

My problem is that i cant forgive myself for contracting h.i.v. I use drugs I use woman and theres allot of people who care about me. people seem to see potential in me and they know, and and i know. Icahnn have impact on peoples lives. Its just really hard to want to try, to do better and live up toexpectationss. any advice would be helpful.How can you make yourself change for the better if you dont have the desire to change?
...you can't...

...you will make a feeble attempt and miss your bad habits...

...LOL, and revert to the same sorry individual YOU were before this all happened...

...good luck...



...the only advice is remove the don't...and have that desire to change...

...its hard and demanding, seek help and change...DO IT...

...good luck...How can you make yourself change for the better if you dont have the desire to change?
you sound like you DO have the desire, that's the first step. improve one thing at a time each day. that's how it's done. keep the willingness, it's necessary. you can do this- one day at a time. bless you, honey.
there's still hope...

start by just stopping using drugs. that shouldn't be a problem. it doesn't cost anything to stop and the cops won't arrest you for not using drugs.



read something different though.

You probably haven't read this: In Search of the Miraculous, by Peter Ouspensky. Don't worry about the M word. Its not about religion in the smallest degree.
This is tricky. One really can't change unless he has the desire to. It is good that you can recognize where you've gone wrong, but now the next step is to try to put that into action. You know what you've done isn't right by you, use that knowledge and don't do it again. It's hard, yes, but the fact that you know it is wrong means that there is hope. Don't worry about living up to others' expectations, the point is that you're hurting yourself more by not following your own advice. It's hurting you both physically and mentally.



This isn't easy, and I certainly don't have to tell you that. Take baby steps, talk to the people who you care about and who care about you. They will give you better advice than I can. But, judging by your desire to change, you are a better person than you realize. Do not let your mistakes define you.



Good luck and God bless.
Where you are now took a long time to get there.

Where you think you should be will take time. It isn't going to happen overnight and change does not come on a dime. The human being lives by habit and if your current habits are interfering with your life then you have to change your habits. In order to do this you replace the bad habits with good habits. This takes time.

You say you don't have the desire to change but recognize that change must come. Well cultivate your mind for change, and there the desire will come. But you yourself have to cultivate that. You won't forgive yourself for drug abuse or abusing women? Well that's your decision. It's like a dog going back to it's own vomit. Change your attitude and forgive because that sounds like a stumbling block to you. Learn to serve women and give them respect not as the weaker gender but as they are, the stronger of the two genders. Respect that.

Now there are three means of change right there, forgiving yourself, dropping the drugs, giving respect where it belongs.

There are three bad habits you have replaced with three good habits and then you can start working more. Like stop thinking of yourself and start to think of everyone else from now on. Learn to cultivate the habit of ';servitude'; to serve others to the best of your abilities, not the abilities that others expect from you but what the best is that you can give.

Once you start to live this unselfish and respectful means of life it will ultimately lead you to the source of all that is good.

God.

From there you can study the Christ and how He taught us to serve others and life will expand beyond your known borders that you hold on to so strongly today.

This will take time. But you have to work at it. It is hard work I know because I've been doing that for decades now and I can say with assurance that this old dog is not the little bastard he was as a young man and it all started with one thought one night.~~ ';I'm going to start thinking of others besides myself, I have to change and this is the first step I'm going to take';.

It worked.

I'm not the man I want to be but brother I am so far ahead of myself by that one decision twenty-eight years ago that I never thought I could be this strong in the whole of my life before that one decision. The second decision that was just as important was to ';act on it';! One without the other is useless.

All the best to you in your endeavours my friend. Take care.
I would imagine that being diognozed with a potentially life threating

illness Is a heavy burdeon in itself without carrying the addiional weight of guilt and self- resentment. Accept the condition as now being apart of you. I'm sure you are very much aware that people who have contracted H.I.V live their lives fully to a ripe old age with medication. You obviously have a desire to change, you are just struggling in translating your desire into your desired physical experience. Every day of your life is special and unique and their is plenty to live for. The worst thing you could do is to live a self-destructing lifestyle through a concept that decieves you into believing that your life is now a worthless time bomb. You have a basic responsibility to live your life in a way that projects love and respect for yourself and for those that are very close to your heart. (It is about embracing what you know to be right and wholesome for yourself and for the greater benifit of others). Follow this simple principle with actions that show change and over time your feeling will change, enabling you to feel complete again.
you are already trying,just not with the right way,I would suggest you try other way that might WORK